Thursday, December 18, 2025

VOTD 12/18/2025

 Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: Unconditionally Guaranteed (Mercury)

Purchased for $2 at an antiques mall in Morgantown


In the past two days, I've listened to Lick My Decals Off, Baby twice, and then The Spotlight Kid. Now this. This is largely the same musicians as the previous two records: Zoot Horn Rollo, Rockette Morton, Art Tripp (Ed Marimba), Alex Saint Clare (a Beefheart alumnus), plus a keyboardist, occasional acoustic guitarist and saxophonist. 

Does it suck because I'm expecting a Beefheart record, or does it just suck? Probably a little of both. But it wouldn't be the low point. 

The Magic Band sounds defanged. There's no bite to them. Not as bland as the record that would follow this, Moonbeams and Blue Jeans, but almost. And Don just isn't able to write a good straightforward song. He's far better flowing on Beat-style sound poetry. Sun zoom spark!

Well what can I say, this was worth all of $2 to satisfy my curiosity about this period of Don's creative life. And the worst was yet to come, after the band collectively quit after this. I spent another $2 for Moonbeams and Blue Jeans, and that record is worse than this. This is just average mid-70s bluesy-rock. Unmemorable. Maybe some people were meant to be weird.



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