Bonus post!

It's been a few days over a year that I starting blogging regularly, then not so regularly, here. As I wrote recently, it was an intended discipline to give purpose to my record and CD collection: write my thoughts on my current listening, and give a reason for pulling out records from my archive. Ultimately, I find I'm writing about myself more than the music itself (such as in this very instance). I'll probably continue now and then, once again for myself than any intended audience. I feel like I've reached a point where I'm starting to repeat my own anecdotes. I might be repeated the comment below.

I have a friend, who for simplicity's sake I'll refer to the masculine "he." (I don't need a discussion regarding pronouns, please.) This is someone I've known for decades, but haven't seen in person for years. We are Facebook contacts. When he responds to a posting by me or others that I see, it inevitably comes in the form of, "I saw that band in 1984" or "My band opened for them" or "I drove around that musician one weekend" or other comments that almost invariably come back to "I" or "me." He's even taken credit for things I didn't believe he should, and I've called him out on it.

This is my long-winded example of the hesitance I feel just writing about myself. I, I, I, me, me, me. And if I do write about myself, maybe I should focus that energy into documenting more of my work? I don't consider myself to be all that interesting or with a unique point of view. 

Yet I once again sit at my laptop, writing about myself. Our lives are not without contradictions.

And I find myself facing contradictions and conflicts  more and more as I age. What will my legacy be? Why should I care, if I'm gone anyway? What do I do now that I know I have fewer years ahead of me than behind me? Why am I not working on my music at this very moment? Will it matter? What does "matter" even mean? 

Truth is, I'm in too deep to back away now. And I am grateful for the fact that playing music continues to give me purpose. 

I've kept track of the artist recordings I've posted here. I'll post below. Draw what you will from the list, and it's hardly everything I've had on in the past year. It's surprisingly lacking in so-called jazz artists, but I don't know what that word means sometimes.

I'll probably continue, but not on a regular basis. There are so many things I need to do.

-Ben